LDS Singles

Thriving and Growing as an LDS Single

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“Ask a Man Out On a Date Month,” Year 2

Women asking men out? Can we do that? It can be quite the controversial subject. I do have one friend who says he does not like being asked out, but when pressed, will say, “well, if it’s someone I like, that’s okay.”

Then there’s this phrase that I swear by: “It’s Just a Date.” Or, I think that’s how it should be. How can you get to know someone if you have to be practically engaged before you can go on one? But as a few friends from other cultures have told me (I live in the U.S.), in some places it can be more complicated. I’ve had friends from other countries tell me that where they’re from, if you go on a date, you are practically engaged.

But for today, I have two pieces of evidence to support both that it’s okay for women to ask men out, and that “It’s only a date!” is a philosophy that can work, at least here. I wouldn’t counsel anyone to pretend that their culture’s expectations don’t exist! Anyway, the first is from a married friend/practicing therapist/teacher of the Utah State Extension Class “How Not to Fall in Love With a Jerk or Jerkette” class Darren Johansen. (Also check out the book by Dr. VanEpp here.) He said that in the dozens of classes he’s taught, he always asks the guys if any of them minds getting asked out, and not once has any of them ever said he’d rather not. So.

My other humble offering? A year ago, through Matt Campbell I was introduced to Facebooker James Kiing’s great idea: “September is Take a Man Out On a Date Month.”

Remember this?

Remember this?

While it’s a bit of a mouthful, I, along with some friends, tried this last year. It was so much fun that we’ve done it two more times since, and are planning another one for the end of the month. And you know what? While some of us have been turned down, (the most common reason being that the guy already has a girlfriend), and while asking someone even for a lighthearted evening with friends can still be nerve-wracking, the feedback from all involved has only been positive. Okay, so it’s been hard to do, but the dates have been really fun. And more than worth it.
sum up inigo montoya

Our dates were simple, the good part was each other’s company. We didn’t quite make September, so we started in October.

October: We picked out pumpkins at a pumpkin patch, carved them at a friend’s house, and played games.
Group Date 2: We made crepes at our house (I have two roommates), talked, and played games.
Group Date 3: We went miniature golfing, then got food afterwards.

Paired off

The ups and downs:

Some of us were turned down, but we rebounded and asked someone else.
There was a risk that we might ask out a guy who doesn’t want to be asked out by a woman, but as far as we could tell, that didn’t happen.
I suppose we were lucky that we all asked guys who genuinely seemed to have a good time.
We got to know our dates, and everyone else out on the date, better than we would have otherwise. It wasn’t necessarily a group of people who would have ended up being thrown together under different circumstances, and that made it fun.
*All of the women agreed that we have a new-found appreciation for men and what they go through and have been going through, having been in this position for so many years (we’re all in our 30’s and 40’s.)
We got some dating experience, and we didn’t have to sit around waiting for it.
We had fun.
We made new friends, or strengthened existing friendships.

So, if you think this might work in your culture and where you live, give it a try.


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Part 3, “Live MormonAds”

“Live MormonAds” Part 3, from an activity our ward did. For an explanation, see:

Live MormonAds Part 1

Live MormonAds Part 2

Part 3:

Glow and Grow Brighter

Glow _ grow brighter Glow _ grow brighterGlow and grow brighterGlow and grow brighter


The wrong angle in life separates us from Christ

How bad are you


My soul hungered…

My Soul Hungered


Keep your eye on the Savior

Keep you eye on the Savior


Which way do you face?

Which way do you face_ Which way do you face_(2) Which way do you face Which way do you face


Lengthen your stride!


President Spencer W. Kimball: 1895-1985

Lengthen Your Stride Lengthen your stride Lengthen your stride(2)



Lift where you stand.


Lift where you stand(2)

Lift where you stand Lift where you stand Lift where you stand(3)

Lift Piano LDS Living

LDS Living: link



 …And More to Come

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“Live MormonAds” Part 2

Continued from Part 1: See if you can remember the talks that these came from.

Embrace Obedience

Embrace obedience Embrace obedience(2)


Envy is the Mistake That Just Keeps On Giving

Envy is the mistake that just keeps on giving


Do Your Calling Well: Serve Your Fellow Sister

Do your calling well


Every Calling Is Important

Every calling is important

Sunday School teacher, our Bishop, chorister


every calling is important Every calling is important (2) Every Calling is Important !


Come and See

Come and see


Exercise Your Faith

Exercise your faith Exercise your faith(2) exercise your faith (2) Exercise faith


Fill the Whole Earth

Fill the Whole Earth Fill the whole earth Fill the Whole Earth (2)


Fear Not What Man Can Do

Fear not what man can do


Free to Choose

Free to Choose Free to choose (3) Free to Choose (2)



Gather the Saints…

Gather the Saints


Guided Safely Home

"Sister Bishop" doing metaphorically something that she does well.

“Sister Bishop” doing metaphorically something that she does well.

And more to come tomorrow….

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Singles Ward Activity: “Living” MormonAds

For our ward home evening last night, we were given a long list of dozens of quotes from past General Conferences, including the most recent one. We then had an hour to make the most “memes” we could. For fun, we were prohibited from using photos from the internet (only our phone) and we got bonus points for using the people in our teams in the photos. Teams were chosen by the random pieces of candy that we had chosen from a bag on our way in.

I’m posting what the teams came up with by the quote that inspired them. Remember, our short hour and use of (mostly) only ourselves inspired some silliness. Maybe your ward could have fun doing something similar.  In the midst of the silliness, though, it was a great way to remind ourselves of some of the lessons from Conference and some classic quotes as well.

This will probably take up several blog posts. For more great ward home evening ideas, try the FHE book by Janna McFerson.


 The Sacrament: A Renewal for the Soul

Sister Cheryl A. Esplin: The Sacrament – A Renewal for the Soul



A renewal for thy soul


“Bread of Life, Living Water”

Elder James J. Hamula: The Sacrament and the Atonement

 Bread of Life, Living water Bread of Life, Living water(2)



“Are We Not All Beggars?”

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Rich or poor, we are to ‘do what we can’ when others are in need.”


Are we not all beggars_(2) Are we not all beggars_

“Catch the Wave!”

“I thank God and His Son, Jesus Christ, for the Restoration and its power to propel a magnificent wave of truth and righteousness across the earth.” Elder Russell M. Nelson

Catch the Wave (2)
catch the wave (3)
Catch the wave