LDS Singles

Thriving and Growing as an LDS Single


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“Live MormonAds” Part 2

Continued from Part 1: See if you can remember the talks that these came from.

Embrace Obedience

Embrace obedience Embrace obedience(2)

 

Envy is the Mistake That Just Keeps On Giving

Envy is the mistake that just keeps on giving

 

Do Your Calling Well: Serve Your Fellow Sister

Do your calling well

 

Every Calling Is Important

Every calling is important

Sunday School teacher, our Bishop, chorister

 

every calling is important Every calling is important (2) Every Calling is Important !

 

Come and See

Come and see

 

Exercise Your Faith

Exercise your faith Exercise your faith(2) exercise your faith (2) Exercise faith

 

Fill the Whole Earth

Fill the Whole Earth Fill the whole earth Fill the Whole Earth (2)

 

Fear Not What Man Can Do

Fear not what man can do

 

Free to Choose

Free to Choose Free to choose (3) Free to Choose (2)

 

 

Gather the Saints…

Gather the Saints

 

Guided Safely Home

"Sister Bishop" doing metaphorically something that she does well.

“Sister Bishop” doing metaphorically something that she does well.

And more to come tomorrow….

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Singles Ward Activity: “Living” MormonAds

For our ward home evening last night, we were given a long list of dozens of quotes from past General Conferences, including the most recent one. We then had an hour to make the most “memes” we could. For fun, we were prohibited from using photos from the internet (only our phone) and we got bonus points for using the people in our teams in the photos. Teams were chosen by the random pieces of candy that we had chosen from a bag on our way in.

I’m posting what the teams came up with by the quote that inspired them. Remember, our short hour and use of (mostly) only ourselves inspired some silliness. Maybe your ward could have fun doing something similar.  In the midst of the silliness, though, it was a great way to remind ourselves of some of the lessons from Conference and some classic quotes as well.

This will probably take up several blog posts. For more great ward home evening ideas, try the FHE book by Janna McFerson.

 

 The Sacrament: A Renewal for the Soul

Sister Cheryl A. Esplin: The Sacrament – A Renewal for the Soul

 

bread-and-water-351508-wallpaper

A renewal for thy soul

 

“Bread of Life, Living Water”

Elder James J. Hamula: The Sacrament and the Atonement

 Bread of Life, Living water Bread of Life, Living water(2)

mormonad-always-remember-him-1118439-wallpaper

 

“Are We Not All Beggars?”

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Rich or poor, we are to ‘do what we can’ when others are in need.”

 

Are we not all beggars_(2) Are we not all beggars_

“Catch the Wave!”

“I thank God and His Son, Jesus Christ, for the Restoration and its power to propel a magnificent wave of truth and righteousness across the earth.” Elder Russell M. Nelson

Catch the Wave (2)
catch the wave (3)
Catch the wave


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Envy and Jealousy Among Singles

441px-Olmec_mask_802Everyone struggles with envy and jealousy, but I think that LDS Single Women, especially past a certain age, may struggle with it more. As the ratio of women to men increases as one gets older, it is more frequently a subject of jokes among Church members and also understandably a frustration for the women who are still single who long to get married. Of course, problems arise when anyone (men or women) succumb to the temptation to see this stage of life as more of a “competition” and less a matter of patience and serving one another. Understandable? Yes. But does it mean that we all end up hurting feelings from time to time, on top of dealing with our own hurt feelings, and making things more complicated for ourselves as well as others? Most definitely.

Something I learned today, from Vocabulary.com:

Envy/Jealousy

It’s no fun to feel envy or jealousy because both make you feel inadequate. Envy is when you want what someone else has, but jealousy is when you’re worried someone’s trying to take what you have. If you want your neighbor’s new convertible, you feel envy. If she takes your husband for a ride, you feel jealousy.

 Envy requires two parties, like you and that neighbor, when you want her new car and you wish you were the one riding around with the top down. You feel envy when you want something someone else has.

Jealousy requires three parties, like you, your neighbor, and your husband, when not only do you wish you had that cool car, but you’re worried your husband is going to ride off into the sunset in it without you. Jealousy is exciting because it shows up in lovers’ triangles and Shakespeare’s plays.

You can feel envy about something you don’t have but want, but you feel jealousy over something you already have but are afraid of losing, like that husband who’s always hanging out next door.

When are you envious or jealous?

In a dating context, or as a single, this list from author Carol Tuttle gives us some possible scenarios. Beliefs that limit us:

“I need to be special to a man to be loved.”
“I need a man to love me in order to feel beautiful.”
“I need to be special to a man to be worthy of love.”
“If I’m not with a man, I am not lovable.”

Other issues (It only takes one!!)

Do you often compare yourself to others?
Do you base your value on your outward appearance?
When you are around other attractive women, do you feel inferior?
Do you perceive other women as a threat?
Do you often feel overlooked or that no one really “gets you”?
Do you feel you really deserve something but it seems like others steal your chance for success?
How do you respond when another woman you know gets something you want? (A raise, a promotion, gets engaged, has a baby, etc?)

I think Satan will always tempt us with these, but we don’t need to be discouraged. Instead, when we find that the answer to one of these is “yes,” we can turn to our Savior and our Heavenly Father and those who love us to strengthen our fears and learn to be happy for each other instead of believing that the blessings that others have mean that there is less for us. This excerpt from a 2012 talk from Elder Holland is a great reminder of that:

 

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland: Avoid Envy. March 31, 2012

Full video and text here

Cornichons_Vlasic_Pickles_1

Want to drink some pickle juice?

 

We Are (Children) of Our Heavenly Father

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As Daughters (and Sons) of God we are each unique and different in our circumstances and experiences. And yet our part matters—because we matter.

I’ve been extra busy with my health, three papers, more school stuff, and now a last minute move: so I thought I’d share something quick and easy, but still valuable.

I try to listen to and read a General Conference talk each day, and this is the one I was drawn to this morning.  The “daughter” references can easily be replaced by “son,” of course.  Universal principles.

Tip: If you haven’t already tried it, you can search each General Conference (or all of them at once) by topic. Very handy.  Here is the list for the most recent Conference, April 2013: Conference Topics


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Come What May, Be Happy Today

So, I have a post in the works that I’m excited about (notes from a great FHE that our ward did with a panel of Newlyweds on dating), but while I wait for the participants to approve what I’ve written, I thought I should fill the space with another post.

I think I’ve mentioned in earlier posts that I’m in a bit of an unusual situation.  I have long-term health problems that began during my mission.  I’m also divorced.  Because of my health issues, my two children live with their Dad and Step-Mom.  Let’s just say that we’re all blessed that their Dad and Step Mom are good parents who love and care for them a lot.  Of course, the situation isn’t so fun for me, and isn’t always easy for them to have me away, either.  I came up to Utah to try and finish my degree, but due to my health, it hasn’t gone as I’d like it to have gone, either.  It’s hard to predict when I’ll be feeling well and when I won’t.  Plus, trying to go to school full time took its toll on my health, which was then worse than it had been in several years.  But I digress.

None of us is exempt from trials and difficulties.  I was hoping to get to go down to see my kids on President’s Day weekend, but it didn’t work out.  Since then I’ve been feeling more and more sorry for myself.  I’ve had my daily and weekly checklist of things to do, finished and checked them off, took care of myself, etc, did mellow things with friends, but by Sunday morning I was a bit of an angry mess.  Then our Ward Conference began, with the theme “Experience The Manifestations of The Spirit.”  And boy did I need it.  Sunday and then Monday morning I felt like I got answers to my frustrations, and more peace and patience and things to look forward to.  Monday I rediscovered “Mormon Messages” on LDS.org.  I bombarded my Facebook wall with several Mormon Messages that I had needed.  I highly recommend it as an addition to one’s list of things to look at when one needs an answer to prayer, or a way to better bring in the Spirit in addition to prayer and scripture study.

Here was my favorite one, so highly applicable to singles and anyone who feels that life may not be all it’s meant to be, taken from one of my favorite conference talks:

Or if you want to read or watch the entire talk, you can find it here:  Elder Wirthlin: Come What May and Love It


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To The Single Parents

As a single parent myself (although one in an unusual situation at the moment) my heart goes out to the struggles of other single parents.  During my divorce, I was in a ward in Los Angeles near UCLA with mostly young students and student families, and there were only two other single parents in the ward that I was aware of.  They immediately reached out to me and I learned of the special “club” that many single parents seem to share: one for all, and all for one.  My Relief Society President (married) was excited to share with me a new online “community” of those who are LDS called LDS Linkup and emphasized that it wasn’t specifically for dating.  We formed a group there for single parents, and it was extremely helpful to me, even if it was “just” online.  While I haven’t been on Linkup in several years, so I can’t vouch for what it’s like now, I’m still grateful for the online relationships I made there that helped get me through, and more importantly for the friends in real life who reached out to me because their families had unfortunately also been touched by divorce.

I’m excited to share the things I’ve found that have helped me through my journey in the hopes of making it easier for someone else, and look for more things to share with you as well.  And *please* share the things that have worked for you, and perhaps the things that haven’t been so helpful.  For the future, what are some of the things people that said that have not been so helpful?  Please e-mail me or post. If you could accompany it by something people have done or said that has been helpful, or your own idea of something that would be helpful, please include that too!

For today, a list of things on the Church’s website that I often turned to for help, or that I’ve found since then:

  1. In general, just listening to the recordings of General Conference or the audio scriptures has been very helpful.  Parents in general can find it difficult to find time to sit down and read, but these resources mean that you can do other things that have to get done and hopefully listen at the same time.  Or, if you want to read, but it just seems to take too much energy for the few minutes you do have to sit down, sometimes it can bring that added peace that seems illusive during a busy day.
  2. If you have the resources to do so, listen to the scriptures or General Conference in the car.
  3. LDS.org: Gospel Library Support Materials for Parents
  4. Do a search on LDS.org  for single parenting, singles, parenting, etc.  (the language on the Church’s site can be changed by clicking on the icon on the top that looks like the Earth)
  5. Various talks and articles on single parenting from LDS.org:
  6. Resources for Single Parent Families

We are capable of doing our most important job to the best of our ability: us, and the Lord.

Coming soon for Single Parents: 

  1. Learning to accept help: how, when, and why
  2. My latest favorite parenting book