These are the kinds of dating experiences that we like to hear. I know that there are thousands and thousands of these experiences, or there wouldn’t be so many happily married people out there! Whether they lead to another date or not, these are the kinds of people who are treating us like brothers and sisters in the Gospel and make dating something we can look forward to even if we don’t find a spouse at the end of it all. To round out the series (men’s stories here, women’s stories here) on things people do that make people feel like commodities (which I think is all too prevalent these days, unfortunately), some friends shared positive experiences with me that made them feel like they were better for it. So, Don’t Give Up! And Enjoy the Journey. 🙂
All names are changed:
Serena: I went on one date with a guy named Eric several years ago when I was in Utah. It was a great date, but I was moving back (to where I live now). We didn’t continue dating, but he called me the night before I left. He told me he was trying to be better at telling people the things he liked or appreciated about them. He was super nervous, and that made it even sweeter. He told me I was an attractive person, and that I was kind, and fun. It made my day. It boosted my self-confidence.
Naomi: I grew up in Southern CA and went to the youth dances and then “Young Adult” dances almost every weekend. My favorite dances were when friends took turns asking us to dance and boys we didn’t know asked us as well. We felt respected and safe when we saw them asking not just us but all kinds of other girls out to dance. When I first went to college in another state, it seemed like the men there were mostly interested in the petite girls or blonds. However, my friend’s brother and a couple of his friends, who were from a small town, would not only ask just about everyone to dance but would escort each girl they danced with by the arm to the dance floor. I’m usually a bit of a feminist, but it came across as kind, respectful, and not at all demeaning.
Mary: I recall hearing a touching story when I was at BYU of a girl who had asked a guy to Preference. The guy’s dad had passed away, and so the guy would be going to his home the next day; I think flying out for the funeral, etc. As I understand, the guy still went to preference, as he knew the girl had already arranged everything.
Kendra: Last summer I was dating a man and he really lifted me up. After a few dates we had a long conversation about differences in our backgrounds. Sometime later he brought me a small gift – a pendant. At first I thought it was a representation of a fire since he’d teased me before about how passionate I get about some subjects/matters. But, he said it was a lotus or a water-lily. When he learned about some of my experiences he was really impressed by what he said was sheer tenacity and perseverance. But most of all he was impressed by my ability to open my heart to people and to love. He said that the pendant was a symbol of my ability to get through all the darkness and get to the surface just like (the) lotus does, to open myself to Heavenly Father’s love and show my true beauty. To me that was the best affirmation coming from any man I’d met.
Randy: My ex fiancé could have torn me apart a lot worse than what actually happened. She was really decent about everything and still wanted and wants to be friends even though she married someone else! She is pretty awesome and he is a great guy it just didn’t work out for us, and I’m okay without being in her life or her in mine. I’m glad she found what God intended for her.
Jemma: I wanted to wait until I was 16 to date. But my parents and brother were moving back from WY (I lived with my grandparents because I was on the dance team) and I wanted to get my first date out of the way before I had to ask my dad. So I went on a date the day before my 16th birthday. When he brought me home, he asked me “do you want to be SWEET 16?” I said yes. So there was no kiss. (SERIOUSLY – kiss on the first date?) 🙂 I never went out with him again, but he is still a good friend.
Anne: I was dating my husband. We had both been through a divorce – I’d been through 2. I was joking around and I asked him, “How do I know you will love me forever?” He answered, “Because I said I would”.
Adam: I think overall, in dating, it’s OK to be late if you let the other person know you’re going to be late, in advance … so I appreciate when my fiance gives me advance warning about being behind schedule (and I do the same for her). With advanced notice, being late doesn’t bother me at all … without it I find it disrespectful of the other person’s time. Overall she’s very respectful of my time as I have been overloaded with too many classes in the summer.
Kelly: When I first met the man who was to be my husband he noticed me practicing the piano knowing I didn’t play very well. He was so sweet and kind. He just listened to my playing and made me feel like I was doing a really good job. Later on I found out he was a phenomenal piano player, but he was humble and never said a word about his accomplishments so as not to overshadow my little triumphs. It was very sweet. Once I made a comment about marshmallow fluff which he had never tried. We went out and bought some and made a date night out of making a million recipes with marshmallow fluff. It was a very sweet and sticky date!
Jordan: This isn’t exactly a dating story, but it’s related. When I was 14 or 15, some boys in another ward in our stake brought flowers to all the Mia Maids in our ward for Valentine’s Day. I heard later that it was the idea of one of their moms, but it meant so much to all of us, and I still remember it more than thirty years later. They also put personal written notes with each flower.
Jenny: I met this guy through a mutual friend. One of my girlfriends just moved to the LA area from Boston due to a new job. A local newspaper interviewed her for her new high profile gig. They bonded a friendship. They invited me to go on a hike one day. I “reluctantly” accepted the invitation since I wasn’t able to accept any from just her alone due to my work schedule…
I met him for the first time that Saturday. He is not someone I would think about twice, to be honest. But his mannerism was easy-going and considerate. He showed us the side of (a local neighborhood) I was not familiar with. He was a perfect guide both on the trail and off.
Next thing I knew, he started chatting me up on Facebook. Yes, we became Facebook friends afterwards. From the get-go, he expressed his desire to get to know me better saying I seemed to be the one to know more. It was flattering but since he is not a member, I was reluctant. He was pretty insistent about getting together soon. So we decided to go to a restaurant where my friend I had gone and then watch a movie afterwards at my place.
Then he contacted me that he had completely forgotten about a swanky gig he had agreed to go to for his work and asked if I minded going there instead. I agreed. He came, picked me up and went to this posh place in Bel Air. It was a PR gig for Mandarin Hotel Oriental Hong Kong. It was nice. We talked about lots of things. He never ran out of things to discuss or make me talk about things: I guess him being a reporter, it came naturally to him to make people talk.
Throughout the event and at my place watching the DVD with my roommate, I noticed, he is a bit of touchy guy but not in the least creepy. It was more of, “Hey, you are here with me, I am here with you and want you to know that” type. It was nice…
We continue to talk online since both our schedules have too many conflicts to get together again, so far. He made sure I knew he enjoyed my company. I was brutally honest about I can be difficult at times if a wrong button was pushed. He wondered whether I said it to scare him off from dating me….
Don’t know where this is going to lead, but even if nothing happens, I think I can say this was one of the best dating experiences I have had: low key, considerate, comfortable, never ran out of things to discuss, ACTUALLY DISCUSS, someone who REALLY listens to you and asks questions. Whether there will be a second date or not, he at least asked me out…