How often do we, as singles, wonder if the reason we still aren’t married is because there is something wrong with us, or because we’re not worthy? Imperfect people get married every day. In fact, everyone who gets married is imperfect. We know that. And if there are still goals to achieve or miles to climb before we get there, beating ourselves up isn’t going to help us in that process. We are enough.
I don’t know how many of you are familiar with Al Fox Carraway, more commonly known as “The Tattooed Mormon” because, well, she has tattoos. She’s far from the only Mormon with tattoos, though, whether you’ve run into them or not. She is a convert to the Church and is a frequent speaker at firesides. I’ve never had the opportunity to hear her speak, unfortunately, but I love her blog.
I came across this entry tonight while I was browsing through LDS Living. I will post just a portion, but please read the rest. If you are culturally different from those around you, are finding yourself back in school for a career change and are worried about the future, whether you feel you’re doing all you can or have some significant changes you need to make spiritually, don’t give up on yourself.
It’s funny, I never put thought into getting married until I got baptized. I joked saying I swallowed some of the baptism water, because quickly after then I had thoughts of, “Where’s my husband?!” Haha. And exactly 4 years later, to the date, I got married and sealed. How’s that for a baptism anniversary! A few short months after my baptism, Elder Krause and Elder Richardson gave me a lesson on Eternal Marriages- one of them said that in their Patriarchal Blessing their future wife is preparing from him right now. I decided right then and there that I was going to do that too. I knew the only way to do that is to become as close to the Lord and I possibly could. They also made me write a letter to my future spouse, which was a little awkward at first not knowing who he was at the time, but proved to be an awesome thing. It was the start of 2010 I did that, right before I would pack up my life into a 2-Door Alero Oldsmobile and drove across the country to UT, for who knows why at the time, where I would eventually meet him 3.5 years down the line.
It wasn’t until Utah that my life took a turn in a direction I didn’t even know was a possibility for myself. The closer I became to my Savior and Father, (not just because of my future spouse, but out of pure joy and desire,) the more my I started doing things I never thought I could ever do. Not once has things gone the way I had in mind, which can be really difficult at times- you have those fleeting thoughts of if God truly cares about you, or if He actually listens to your prayers and knows you- but how grateful I am that they did not go the way I had in mind. Because they have been profoundly better. Looking the way that I do and moving to Utah, I had it in the back of my head that I would never get married because of the looks and reactions I would get. But I knew that nothing should override my initial and prominent goal: to live and share the gospel. To love and live for my God. Never would I let what I didn’t have get in the way of that. Never would I let a change of course take away from the unchangeable truth that if I were trying, I would be blessed. I would be taken care of, no matter what.